First it
is important to agree that you envision the same goals for your future. For example, both of you really want to live
_____ fill in the blank. You will have
kids in ______ fill in the blank. Create
a plan of how you’ll stay healthy.
Discuss your physical preferences and health issues openly. You certainly do not want to miss out on
years of wonderful sex life. Incorporate
other ideas that make you feel great about being together. I am sure there will be many! Once you finalized them put them into a
Strategy/Common Goals Document. It’ll be
fun to revisit every so often :o)
What is
your current net worth individually?
Both of you will work or just one of you. Your money will be
individually managed or will you have combined accounts? Have a conversation with a lawyer or an
experienced financial planning professional individually or together to
understand your legal and financial risks associated with a very unlikely
future separation. See our video blog on
the benefits of Pre-Nuptial agreements: http://www.youtube.com/user/NeizvestAcademy/videos
Have an
open conversation with each other about what your concerns might be. Keep everything in perspective: “money conversations”
before marriage will save you from future trouble that could cause a separation
or a divorce. According to a New York
Times article frequency of disagreements about money had a direct correlation
with the likelihood of divorce (Rampell).
When you
plan your weeding remember that it’s just one day out of a lifetime of
wonderful celebration of your love. So
don’t go broke and don’t over stress.
Reality is, someone has or will have a better wedding! You can do something lovely, tasteful and fun
with out spending half of your savings.
My
opinion: Weddings are to celebrate your
marriage and have a fun time. You should
get clothes that make you feel hot and comfortable. Find a destination/place that will help you
be comfortable. Invite only the people
that matter to you now. As you go
through years of your marriage you will have many opportunities to celebrate
your success and happiness in follow up “anniversary” weddings where you can
say your “I Do” over and over again.
Reference:
Rampell,
C., 12/07/2009, Money Fights Predict
Divorce Rates, New York Times, retrieved on March 30, 2012 from:
A couple
of my favorites:
Frankel,
L., May, 10 2005 Nice
Girls Don't Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Girls-Dont-Get-Rich/dp/044657709X
http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757
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