How are the three interrelated?
Here is my experience of their relationship:
The recent events of Trayvon Martin’s case have raised the
questions of race, profiling and gun control laws. My initial reaction was very selfish and
paradoxical. My son is 16 and a half and
half black. One of my hobbies is
shooting with handguns and skeet with a shotgun.
About two weeks into the coverage of the Trayvon Martin Case
I reached out to the local news and asked them to do a story that would show
how certain prejudgments / stereotypes are outdated. I told them that interviewing my son and I
would provide a great example. My son is
a well educated, mannered and rounded teen but because he loves skittles and
can time to time wear sports clothes he may look like a “typical young black
male” to strangers. I am a blond in my
30th with Bachelors in Finance and Masters in Accountancy and over a
decade of experience in complex banking and finance matters and long success in
personal portfolio management. However,
to those who don’t know me I look like a ditsy blonde in her 20th. Therefore, my Son and I are A-Typical, at
least based on the old stereotypes.
Back to the interview, which consisted of a series of
questions that provoked good conversation but what actually made the news was
cut down to hardly comprehensible commentary.
Still our images made it to TV and hopefully presented an alternative to
how a black teen/ young adult might look and behave.
One of the key questions that was asked and I guess the news
reporter was determined to get an answer to was: “Is it unfair that many black
teens are being asked by their parents to act WHITE?” My son’s response was
simple, yes it is unfair. People should
not act differently just to blend in.
My answer consisted of the grown up reality: There is no
such a thing as acting “WHITE”. One can
behave and look as an educated, well mannered and economically secure member of
society regardless of his or her race.
And through my professional and personal experiences I’ve encountered
plenty of people who were professional, well mannered, and in great financial
health who were NOT WHITE. At the same
time, I’ve met plenty of WHITE people who were not well mannered, were not well
educated or were in good financial health.
So this issue of acting WHITE is a misrepresentation. Perhaps, a well meaning
misrepresentation. In my motherly
opinion I think raising your kiddo with a clear understanding of how people
think about image and behavior is key to being a parent. One of my favorite books is “Influence-
Psychology of Persuasion” by Dr. Cialdini because it very simply explains the
basic nature of human behavior and the “shortcuts” we all make based on
someone’s appearance/image. So the current
stereotypes for young black male, particularly those that model the images of the
popular black rap artists are pretty sad and negative.
On the other hand, we all know that what we wear at home, to
the pool, the beach, or a nightclub is not appropriate to wear to a business
meeting or a funeral. It’s really that
simple. But it begs the question: Does
wearing a different set of clothes make you or me a different person? Of course
not!
Back to acting "WHITE or BLACK", in the case of acting “BLACK”
there maybe a misconception that what rap artists portray in music videos is or
should be the authentic image for a young black male. However, the reality is that these rap artists
also know as professional (professional
= get paid for what you do) entertainers have to project a certain
rebellious image (to sell their music).
They are paid to behave this way and to project a certain set of values
and even to sell products and services (you know how most song lyrics mention
brand names of products or services).
But as the old saying goes: “If so and so jump off the bridge will you
jump as well?” The same applies to what young
people wear for fun and what they should wear to meetings or to go to more
official occasions. In other words, similar
to the way a parent can explain to their teen daughter that dressing in very
revealing clothes may get her a lot of negative attention, a parent could (and should) explain that by
wearing certain clothes and accoutrements a young man may project the wrong
message.
This may be perceived as a shortcut is to make these boys
“act WHITE” or make them look and behave a certain way that doesn’t allow them
to express their individuality. However,
that is simply a reality for everyone in society. Unless you are famous and independently
wealthy you have to “play along” with the societal prejudgments.
The more difficult and important long term objective is to
overcome the stereotype assigned to young black men all together. This has to begin at home. Parents of young black boys have to focus on
encouraging doing well in school (math, writing, science, college education, and
financial education), reading beyond the required school curriculum, financial
responsibility. Parents can accomplish
this by being role models through responsible behavior at home. Additionally, there are many black men who
are successful professionals like President Obama, Mr. Combs, JayZ, Mr. Woods
(I know the moral issues are there but no one is perfect), and many
others.
In conclusion, parents should realize that stereotyping in
not only tied to race, age, gender, or the general appearance. Stereotyping is something that occurs
subconsciously and there are simple shortcuts to help alleviate their
affects. However, our goals have to be
focused on long term shift of stereotypes to make future generations of kids
less likely to be perceived a certain way just because they looked a certain
way.
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